Bitter Blazer

Are you a fan of Canadian comedy? There’s a Kids in the Hall sketch that too many of us can relate to, called “Daddy Drank”. Through with a monologue by Kevin McDonald, the actors detail — with humour — how his dad’s alcoholism perpetuated a cycle of emotional abuse. 

This story, about a somewhat coachbuilt Chevrolet (K5) Blazer made by Bitter, the ultimate you’ve-forgotten-about-them German customization house, may not seem like an appropriate place to mention such things…but you’re wrong.

What other 1970s European luxury SUV can you think of that would have a more horrendous appetite for drinking gasoline? In my experience, considering a class of buyers, gigantic ‘bespoke’ American SUVs tend to appeal to a certain type of person.

On the back of a global fuel crisis and uncertainty concerning, well, the world running out of fuel, committing oneself to burning more of it than just about anyone within a few square kilometers is a definite choice. Underhood is a 5.7-liter V8 engine with 160 horsepower, capable of propelling this mid-1970s luxo-SUV to an astoundingly mid 170 km/h (105 mph).

There were plenty of luxo-SUVs at that time, including the Monteverdi Safari, Glenfrome-modified SUVs, and the very maddest off-roaders that Sbarro could muster. Compared with today, in 2025, where half of the cars I see seem to be SUVs, and many of those are fitted with leather seats and more features than 10 Bitter Blazers, collectively these 1970s guzzlers would be a drop in a barrel within an ocean of that era’s oil-starved roads.

I mention ‘10’ Bitter Blazers, but only one was made, making it another unicorn vehicle that I’ve written about here. Headlights? Sealed beams in 1976, baby!

Where is the Bitter Blazer today? Sadly: no idea.